The holidays can be overwhelmingly characteristic of “togetherness” as Thanksgiving dinners, Christmas gatherings, and New Year’s affairs are in order. Families may spend more time together as scheduled activities are on the agenda.
I can recall, as a single woman, spending many of these “activities” with my family (parents, siblings, etc.) and then going home to me, myself, and only I. It wasn’t that I did not feel grateful for having my loved ones in my life. However, the desire to be married and have my own family was quite real. I had my own things and could take care of myself, but companionship was still a desire of mine. I believe that there is such thing as having a healthy desire for companionship without carrying around the DESPERATE card in your designer handbag. Predators can sniff out desperation a mile away. And before you know it, you are hooked up with someone who does not have your best interest at heart. Unfortunately, I’ve been there and I’ve done that.
Despite the challenge of experiencing loneliness during this season of “togetherness,” I recommend a few things to remain focused:
KEEP GOOD COMPANY – These are people who know what you stand for and will help you remain positive. Good company can be single or married people. Being around positive single people will uplift you and challenge you to remain focused. Being around positive married people will help inspire and encourage you in your own desire to eventually be married.
REMAIN PRAYERFUL – It’s also so important to remain prayerful during this season. Be honest with yourself and most importantly with God. He cares and he understands what you are facing as a single woman. God would have it no other way in that you remain grounded and rooted in your relationship with Him. His desire is not to see you miserable but be in complete reliance on Him for everything—including your desires. There’s great intimacy and fulfillment to gain with God when you rely on Him to fill the voids and the empty places of your heart.
GIVE – If your desire is to have children, try to find a child or teen you can share your life with. Perhaps your church has a youth ministry or there is an opportunity to volunteer at a children’s shelter or hospital during the holidays. Giving of yourself helps to counteract what you think you are missing in your personal life.
May God continue to bless you as you seek to draw even closer to Him… – Keturah
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