As a wife of almost ten years, issues relative to healthy marriages always get my attention. This article is not an attack, endorsement, etc. It is purely a means for wives to think about a marriage crisis through the lens of a biblical focus. The guest blogger of this article chose to remain anonymous. – K. Ford, Founder and Lead Blogger of WomenSeekingGod.org
Ever since Jay-Z and Beyonce starting dating in 2003, there was a certain mystique surrounding the couple. It seemed everyone wanted to know the intimate details of their relationship. It only intensified when the celebrity couple married in 2008. But despite all curiosity surrounding them, Jay-Z and Beyonce always remained private regarding their love life. Unfortunately, Beyonce may have just cracked a door into their relationship, and skeletons are beginning to trickle out.
photo credit: cassamo.tumblr.com
The internet has been buzzing lately with the release of Beyonce’s new album “Lemonade.” It appears everyone is looking for answers to the layers of questions that the debut video reportedly raises. Reports from every corner of media is digging and sifting through the many controversial lyrics and content of the video. To many, Beyonce’s lyrics hint of infidelity within her marriage and appears to shine a light on the emotional stages she experienced as a woman dealing with a marriage crisis in the public spotlight.
But it isn’t the public’s perception that is the issue for me; but rather the internal crisis that she may be facing along with many other women who are dealing with similar issues. This reason alone brings me to my computer.
The most intriguing part of it all is the fact that Beyonce may have been dealing with a crisis in her home while very little may have been known by others. In 2014, there was an infamous elevator fight between Jay-Z and his sister-in-law, Solange. Many speculated that the incident may have been in retaliation of Jay-Z’s infidelity. That elevator camera peered into the crisis going on in their relationship. For me, the intriguing part of the incident wasn’t what happened behind closed doors. No, not at all. The shocking part was when the doors opened. Once the doors of the elevator door opened, Beyonce was greeted with cameras and flashes while having to “look” glamorous again despite the horrific scene that occurred seconds before. She had to fix her hair, lift her chin up, and look the part.
Who knows what truly occurred or the details surrounding the Lemonade story. But it does raise an interesting point. Countless women are quietly suffering in their marriages and NOBODY knows!! Everyday women have to put on a mask for the kids, job, and family while feeling their life is falling apart. Like the elevator incident with Jay-Z and Beyonce, women are fighting in their marriage, mind, and soul. But as soon as their front doors open, it’s time to put on the face again. WomenSeekingGod.org does not endorse Beyonce’s platform. But the truth is truth and we applaud those who attempt to follow a proper model of dealing with conflict. If this is you, there are some encouraging biblical lessons that we can walk away with amidst all the drama.
Remove the wedges. Jay-Z and Beyonce always kept very quiet about their home life. It wasn’t just the bad times when they put up the “STOP” sign, but in every detail of their life. This is a good principle to follow. In Gen 2:24, the bible states that man and woman should cleave to one another. Despite all the things you may be going through, it is important to trust God and his word. The call is to cleave to your husband. To cleave means to stick, hold fast, and to unite. During a crisis, it is easy for us to vent to anyone who would listen. What tends to happen when this is done? Family and friends bash, divide, and slander your husband; when in reality this is a call to “CLEAVE.” To bash your husband is putting more weight on your marriage. The call to leave your mother and father and cleave to your husband isn’t just imaginary. You are really “ONE.” The cleaving is the uniting of a real union of a God ordained institution. If you find your friends putting more of a wedge between you and your spouse, then it may be time to remove the wedge from your relationship.
Seek Godly counsel.It was reported that counseling between Jay-Z and Beyonce may have began in 2014 to help overcome their crisis. Whatever the case between them, obtaining counsel can do wonders for a marriage when done properly. Removing the wedge doesn’t mean removing Godly counsel. Proverbs 11:14 says, “Where there is no guidance, a people fall, but in an abundance of counselors there is safety.” We, as women, don’t have difficulty expressing our frustration, but we do have difficulty finding the right person to share with. It is okay to say: “I don’t know the answer to our marriage problems.” This is the perfect time to seek godly counsel. The bible is our manual to life and all that it throws at us. But sometimes it is important to have help to sort things out, get to the root, and then yank that sucker out so it will never reveal its ugly head in your marriage again.
Make lemonade. When life gives lemons, make lemonade. I don’t know your story and nor do I know the level of the crisis; but I do know there is victory! Romans 8:28 states: “And we know that all things work together for the good of them that love God, to them who are called according to his purpose.” By no means, is your marriage crisis a good thing. But if you love God and are “called”, your crisis is for your good! The lemons revealed now can be used for lemonade later. Lemonade is always better when it isn’t bitter. Lemonade always flavored with “forgiveness” is just the drink anyone needs. I know for some, this is so far away from your reality, that you can not see the possibility of reconciliation. I understand. But although this may be a distant reality, attempt to move in this direction anyway. Godly counsel will always help move marriages in crisis in this direction. Trust God and the process. May God continue to keep you as a woman pursuing a healthy and whole marriage!
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