I did my primary and high schooling in a Catholic school and one thing I’ve learned as a woman who has given her life to Jesus Christ is that God is REAL…
My name is Relebogile Beatrice jnr Mogomotsi and meet the former me.
She was born and raised in South Africa. She spent most of her childhood living with her grandmother and older brother while her mum worked a few towns away.
It all starts in her primary schooling where she is told “who she is” by her fellow schoolmates and she starts to believe them. Her second name is considered “a joke” to many and as a little girl she doesn’t know that it actually is a French name meaning “she who brings happiness.” So she starts to get mad and embarrassed whenever they call her by that name because they are laughing.
A year passes by and she is still that light skinned little girl (as others described her) at the back of the classroom and prefers it that way. It is better for her to be unnoticed rather than picked at constantly. Either way, she has a very low and shallow voice, so she sits back with the mentality that nobody will hear her anyway.
Two years later, she is now 12 and her body is starting to show some changes…
She grows taller than most of her average group, she becomes thicker, her lips become fuller and her “soft” personality is starting to unveil.
Boys start noticing her body. Girls start laughing at her full lips and she starts to find it difficult to grasp what she is taught at school.
She becomes emotionally “broken.” She tries to make her lips look smaller by squeezing them in most of the time. Her weight is devastating her. And at the same time, she is trying to catch up with school work.
So she takes a step back from participating in school activities. She avoids playing sports, dancing, and singing activities at school because she knows she will be considered the outcast. This means she also avoids creating friendships. Her primary socialization was with people at home.
She allows this to happen until she is 16…
She starts to date and finds comfort in it. She gets “a high” at listening to boys telling her how beautiful and kind she is; so she settles for them.
Things get rough as she realizes that this comfort is not working out for her as she hoped it would. She cries herself to sleep because of it. She is jumping from one relationship to another and the worse part is unfolding: she does not realize that she is slowly deteriorating in every way.
Until one day, God spoke to her loud and clear…
For some reason, she found herself listening to praise and worship music all the time. She got rid of other forms of music and found comfort in listening to the soothing words. By that time, she was 16 going on 17 and she could not understand what God was really trying to do and say.
However, Joel 2: 12-13 was rooted in her heart, “The Lord says, even now, come back to me with all your heart. Go without food, and even cry and be sad. Tearing your clothes is not enough to show that you are sad; LET YOUR HEART BE BROKEN. Come back to the Lord your God because he is kind and shows mercy.”
And that’s what I did. Over the years I let my heart break down and be sad, while pouring it out to God. I found myself crying and laughing at the same time. I was finally healed and my heart knew it from the moment it was renewed.
Today, I am 20 years old and I cannot be any more happier with the woman I’ve turned out to be. Life has its ups and downs, but the Lord is good in every season. I’ve learned to be patient with his timing and accept whatever life throws at me.
The only person who can fix your heart is the one who created it. It might not happen overnight. It is a lifelong journey that will teach you how to love God with all your heart, body and spirit.
God knows you by name and he has called you his own…
Relebogile Mogomotsi of Tell Us Your Story is a 20 year old, enthusiastic college student born and raised in South Africa. She loves Jesus and is on a mission to share her experiences with the world. She loves to learn and is also developing her gift as a public speaker through specialized seminars. Her passion for reaching out to the younger generations (and all generations) is evident as she utilizes her gift of writing to encourage them in pursuing a relationship with God.
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