I was 18 years old and college life had gotten the best of me. I wanted to be an amazing cardiac care nurse who helped people nurture their hearts back to good health. But independence tasted way too good for this sheltered church girl who wanted more than anything to be free of rules, curfews, and the rigid instructions of ministry oriented parents. I would find myself caught up in a campus relationship my first semester in, never allowing myself to just breathe for a second as I got my bearing with course schedules, work study employment, and solid study skills. For the first two years of college, I was on a downward spiral of bad grades, a compromised lifestyle, a distracted mind, and a broken relationship with God.
By the end of my second year of college, I was barely making it academically while suffering spiritually. The so-called love of my life didn’t seem to be interested in me anymore as I fought more to stay with him than rebuild my relationship with God. Who had I turned in to? My world was absolutely consumed with being dependent on an uncommitted boyfriend and a meaningless existence of feeling like I needed to “belong.” I was miserable. In hindsight, I realize that I forgot to breathe and just “be” – be a good student, be a competent young adult, and be an active participant of the college world around me with all of its richness, diversity, and opportunities to grow outside of my academics.
You would of thought that I would get the point and turn from my futile ways, but I left campus still under the influence of all the same types of behaviors that existed during college – unfocused plans, extremely distracted, and hooked up to the wrong relationships. I was still living a compromised lifestyle as a professing Christian. All the while, God was always near, drawing me and giving me subtle reminders that he wanted to be Lord of my life. Still, I would hold on to what I thought I was losing. I had become rebellious as I used relationship after relationship to fill the void of God in my life.
One relationship in particular would be my wake up call. He was conniving. He was a liar. He meant me harm in an extreme way. I began to see, through this dating experience, that the enemy of my soul wanted to kill me. I got out. I ran. I changed my number. I called out to God. He was the only one I could turn to as I attempted to get back on track spiritually. I prayed like I had never prayed before. God was working on me bit by bit. I got baptized. God would draw me to his word for strength, counsel, and affirmation. I began to see the truths of the bible weaved into my story. God had come to rescue me. I read the bible from front to back – Genesis to Revelation. I fasted and talked to God all the time and everywhere. I changed my friends. I attended every church service and Christian singles support group that I could find. I was learning to breathe.
To God be the glory, I’ll be celebrating ten years of marriage this November. My husband and I met at the church that God drew me to in my time of need. I have a beautiful little girl. I never got an opportunity to become a cardiac care nurse like I envisioned, but I believe God is allowing me to be a vessel to reconnect wayward hearts back to him. I am an ordained minister (along with my husband) and have taught and preached the gospel in places that I never imagined. I continue to walk with God. He is the source of the air that I breathe. I realize that the God of my “rock bottom” will be the same God who will sustain me in every phase of my life.
Keturah enjoys meeting women from all over the “virtual” world as she is passionate about writing about faith, spiritual growth, and womanhood. In her free time, you can find her baking lots of sweet treats and spending quality time with her husband and “spunky” 2.5 year old daughter.